ARTICLES

February 3, 2020

Shared Experiences

 

From when I was five weeks pregnant with my first son, I had someone - other than my husband - to share the highs and lows of pregnancy with. I went through every niggle, ache, flutter, and stage with one of my closest friends. We told each other we were pregnant at 5 weeks while walking our dogs - our first babies, who until that time had occupied our spare minutes, our laps and our camera roll. My friend and I had long travelled a similar path - we had become engaged within weeks of each other, got married within weeks of each other, lived around the corner from one another and now were going to have our first babies within days of each other. It was pretty magic.

 

We had different symptoms in our pregnancies, worked different jobs, saw different obstetricians and were to give birth in different hospitals, but we shared an experience - and importantly, we shared a stage.

 

Through the nausea, tiredness and magic of pregnancy to the birth of our babies, we bonded. Then our babies were born, and we walked our dogs with our prams every morning. We’d greet each other with a “how was your night” and be real about the exhaustion, feeding difficulties, sleeplessness we were experiencing. We’d confess our self doubts, we’d give each other advice, we’d share knowledge we had gleaned through Google in the night, and always be ready for a coffee. We’d walk in the early mornings, rain hail or shine, because we both needed the outlet to have adult conversation and share the specifics of our day-to-day motherhood experience. 

 

My oldest two boys are quite close in age. When I fell pregnant with my second, my friend was back at work, and this time while I lots of mum-friends in the area, I didn’t have a close friend who was going through the same stage as me. When my second son was born, it was even harder. I didn’t have the connection of a close friend with a newborn, and I missed not being able to text my friend through the night. I now had two little people - and had at least one of them on me 20 hours of every day - yet I had never felt more alone. My friend and I walked when we could, but my world had shifted slightly and I missed what we had had when we had shared our first experience of motherhood.

 

An important part of why we created Mama You’ve Got This is to provide an opportunity for second, third and fourth time Mamas to meet and connect with other Mamas who are having subsequent babies at the same time. Sharing an experience - specifically a stage - is such a gift, and something you treasure forever. Instead of building a mother’s group - which in most areas you only get with your first baby - we are building a Village, for all Mamas at every stage, who want to meet other Mamas just like them. 

Mama you've got this

Freya Owen

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